Is it normal for sex to hurt so much?
Whether it’s from deep penetration or even just superficial discomfort, painful sex is one of the most common things we treat as pelvic physios.
It breaks my heart to hear people who have been told “it’s all in your head” when they’ve expressed some kind of struggle with pain during intercourse. You know what? It’s f*cking NOT! Your pain is real, and it can affect all genders, and all bodies. And you defintely don’t need to just “bear through the pain.” You and I both know that just makes it all worse - and why would you want to try and have sex again if it isn’t pleasurable?
Many of the people I treat have no pain “at rest” - basically, when they’re just going about their business - but when they begin to get intimate with someone, perhaps having their genitals touches, a burning sensation begins.
It’s common, but that doesn’t mean you have to live with it. I’m passionate about working with you to find ways that will treat it, making sure you’re comfortable every step of the way. To do this, I use some advanced techniques I’ve learned in my studies in both the United States and Canada. That treatment will also often involve tools like dilators - small cylinders placed in the vagina to help you get used to the sensation of penetration - and a Therawand, which is a pelvic massage wand. If you experience pain with deep penetration, we might work together to find some sexual positions that may help alleviate it, and even explore how toys could be a part of creating a more enjoyable experience of sex for you.
It’s also worth repeating that pain with sex doesn’t just happen to people with vaginas. I’ve worked with people who have penises on this issue too. In fact, I recently worked with a cisgender male patient who wasn’t able to have anyone touch his penis, but after treatment has been able to enjoy sex, and has even become a father!
Whatever your discomfort with intercourse looks like, we can work together - gently, at your pace - to make sure you’re having great sex, and more importantly, feeling confident in your own skin.