I have a chronic illness. Here’s what I wish my healthcare professionals would do.

I’m a pelvic health physiotherapist, but I’ve also been a patient. In fact, I have had a persistent chronic illness for almost 30 years - and despite being a healthcare professional myself, I’ve been tossed around by the healthcare system. I’ve seen the worst, but I’ve also seen the best. Based on my experiences, here are the things I wish the specialists and other experts who treated me knew:

#1. I’m not just a body

I appreciate the time you took to study the human body and learn about how to treat the illnesses and concerns that people have. But I wish you acted like you knew that healthcare is not just about treating the physical body, but caring for the whole person, who might be scared, confused or struggling mentally as well as physically. Please don’t dig into my wounds – emotional or physical – and expect that I can leave your office stable.

#2. You need to make room for sensitive information to be shared

I know we all want to get straight to a diagnosis, but please, do your best to create a safe space where a patient might feel okay to share sensitive information with you. Maybe it’s not “just” a cut on the arm that got infected. Maybe it was trauma from a fight with a spouse, maybe it’s domestic abuse, maybe it’s more than you think.

#3. Let me play an active part in this process

Don’t ask me “how are you doing?” Ask me, “How can I help you today? What would you like to achieve?” Don’t think it’s ok to talk to me without planning to listen because you’ve already made your mind up about me or my concerns. Please read my chart, but also ask me, “Tell me your story. I have read your chart but I want to hear it from you.” And please, please don’t dismiss my concerns when I do share them. Don’t tell me: “This is what you need. Take these pills and come back in two weeks.” Instead, let me know: “You can reach me at this number if you need anything, don’t hesitate to call me. I might not return your message right away but I will be thinking of you and make sure you return your message as soon as I can”

#4. Don’t judge me

Please don’t give me a disgusting look when I tell you I’ve done recreational drugs – don’t stigmatize me. Please don’t assume that just because I look put together and have many degrees and a professional career and am successful that I am fine. Please tell me that it’s ok to cry. Please stay silent and listen to me. Please don’t interrupt me, and please ask if it’s ok to touch me.

#5. Show me that you are a human too

Apologize to me if you’ve made a mistake. Set expectations on timelines so that I can trust you even more. Please don’t make promises that you can’t keep. Please be sensitive. Please care about me.