How do I have better sex?

First! Decide what “better” sex means to you. It doesn’t have to mean more orgasms. Is it feeling more comfortable with your partner? More present in your body? Often, mind-blowing sex starts, well, in your mind, and the work you do on you--and your relationship--will always ultimately be the answer to the best sex of your life.

That said: Sometimes, there are just some simple mechanical, physical tweaks you can make to enhance your intimate moments. Here are four solutions to the most common:

#1 When deep thrusting hurts…

...use an Oh-Nut. Designed to control the depth of penetration, this relatively new product works a bit like a bumper that goes on your partner’s penis or whatever that is going into any opening. With three different levels of “depth,” it’s somehow both cushy and sexy at the same time.

#2 When your lower back kills the mood…

...whip out a wedge. If you find lower back pain gets in the way of a marathon sexing session, tucking a wedge underneath you can really take the pressure of your back, neck and other joints.

#3 When you pee a little during sex…

….switch up your position. Missionary or quadruped tend to be trouble if you struggle with incontinence. Instead, trying lying on your stomach with a pillow under your hips.

#4 You’re not sure if it’s good for your partner…

...ask questions! As in all things, communication is key. Don’t be shy about asking them constructive questions like, “Are you comfortable with this? Do you have any unwanted pain? Was that pleasurable?” And remember: Intimacy isn’t just penetrative sex. It’s a daily activity, and there are so many ways to be intimate that have nothing to do with being physical.